I have had the opportunity the past few weeks to really "see" were I am in my sobriety. Not that I understand it all, not by a LONG shot .. but I have been able to evaluate were I am today with a little more clarity than usual. Part of it is being involved in the AWOL. Right off the bat that has me taking a more in depth look at were am I now. Other bits and pieces of this eye opener have to do with the v.i.p. and hitting more meetings with him, a friend receiving his five year medallion, a wedding, school starting .... actually a pretty full plate of things.
A big part of this self evaluation had me wondering if I do in fact practice what I preach so to speak. My mouth makes the noise about practicing the twelve steps in all of my affairs but do I DO it? For real? In my heart of hearts?
Conclusion: There is room for improvement but I do believe in the things I say and I do in fact try to live my life according to the principles of AA. I have to watch my snarky tongue at times, amusement at the expense of others can be hurtful. I have to keep my ego, my fears, my self-centerdness "right sized" so that they do not overwhelm me or people around me. I need to be quicker to hand over the good stuff along with the bad to the God of my understanding. And the reason I need to do all this stuff is because I believe it works. I KNOW it works.
As I am about to embark on a new school year and work adventure knowing these things and shoring up the foundation of this new me will only make life better.
I need to stay open of mind and heart to let God show me when He is doing His God thing!!
