Just For Today

My day today ~

Woke up about 5 am. (as opposed to came too) Looked out the window and saw a brilliant sunrise. Thanked God for waking me up to see that, went back to sleep.

Hour later up and atom, walked down (as opposed to stumble) and made coffee. Ate a pastry. I could do that because I was did not feel like puking.

Off to work, a job that I have because I am sober and can handle it (most days anyways..lol), because I am sober. Did actual work instead of spending the day trying to remember the night before.

1:00 ~ went to the bank were I deposited MY money, into a account that has money, that so far (knock on wood) I have not ever taken out what was not there. That will have enough in it tomorrow for me to pay some bills.

2:00 ~ Picked up my great niece to spend the afternoon with. Same niece who's mother I "never hurt" with my drinking. How did it make her feel when she would find reasons to not have herself, or her daughter around me when I was drinking? Today she trust me with her children.

~ 7:00 Had a BLAST with the girl!!! Just plain fun that you can have when you are sober and not wrapped up in planning how fast you can lose the kid so you can get a drink!! Near the end of the day I offered to bring her home before I took my shower so she did not have so much driving to do ... she wanted nothing to do with that. " I want to stay with you!"

7:30 ~ 8:30 Meeting. Commitment with my group. When I spoke I pretty much said what I am writing here tonight. My day, my SOBER day, and all the gifts I received in my day TODAY: JUST FOR TODAY ... because I am sober.

How awesome.

Gifts

Let them eat cake!!! Cookies and brownies too!!!

Tonight one of the guys brought in amazing fantastic awesome brownies. I was lucky enough to be one of the people he shared with. ( Yes, I whined a bit..) So there we were, stuffing our faces and rolling our eyes enjoying our brownies when Bill W. pipes up with, " Do you think to be grateful for something like this? Think about it, if you were drinking, would you have even tried this brownie?" Nope. I use to think I did not like sweets, once I got sober I discovered that it was beer and cake that did not mix, not me and cake. Cake and I get along a little to well in sobriety ... lol

But Bill was so right, what a gift, on so many levels. The fact that I DO like these things, and WILL try them, and enjoy them ever so much (Dave, thanks again for the brownies you are my hero) That this is my life now, being able to sit with some awesome people and enjoy brownies for no reason. That I have these awesome people in my life.

There are times throughout my day that the gifts of sobriety are obvious to me, eating a brownie was not really on the list, until today. A very good reminder for me too how important ALL these gifts are. How good, how much better these gifts are, when I take the time to see them. I get to enjoy them twice as much :)

So, Thank You God, for clean socks, awesome brownies, and the most wonderful people on earth.

Grad-ah-tude

As you can see, my niece and I did make it sledding on Friday. Gift of sobriety. Going sledding with that little girl would have been a un-kept promise if I was still drinking. For one thing, I am sure I would have been hung over. I would have canceled saying a had a cold or the flu or something, and I probably would have believed that was the reason too. Thank God that is not the way I live today.

Because that is not how I live, I was able to take that little girl sledding for her very first time ever. And she "knew she really really loved sledding even though she had never gone before". Just so very neat to be able to spend the day with her like that. How BIG her eyes got when she saw the hill. Her willingness to try, even though I could tell she was a little scared, and the great big grin on her face after our first run down the hill. I got to be a part of that. Because I am sober, because her mom trust me with the care of her daughter, because I am sober, because I woke up that morning instead of "coming too". Gifts.

One of the things in life that I have always enjoyed are children. This little girls mom is my oldest niece, and she is just 7 years younger than me. Babies, toddlers, little kids, have been a part of my life since I was one!! As soon as I was able too I started babysitting. I was always watching my nieces and nephews when I was in my teens. I went right from my teens into my twenties and motherhood. I will admit that I slacked off a bit as the good auntie once I became a mommy, but I still loved to have the kids over. It was rare for hubby to come home and I did not have additional children in the house.

Then the drinking started to take off. As the drinking increased, the frequency of having other kids over went down. I did not enjoy it as much (it cut into my drinking). The kids were also getting older and Aunties house was not the thing to do. Could be part of why the drinking increased as well, I was suffering from empty nest syndrome!! Well, it could!! I was still very active in my daughters activity's, but the enjoyment was not there the way it would have been if I was not drinking. I know that now. She still got a pretty good mom, despite what she thinks at times, but I could have been much better. MUCH. That was then.

Now, having gone through so much angst as a parent, I really really enjoy being a Auntie and surrogate Auntie to friends children. I am able to do things, and take a great enjoyment in the doing because of what I have learned through AA. Back to having fun. I did not get sober to spend all my time at meetings, (though they are a BIG part of my life too!!). I got sober to be a person again. With a life. With the kids.

Yup, GRAD~AH~TUDE!!!!