Grad-ah-tude

As you can see, my niece and I did make it sledding on Friday. Gift of sobriety. Going sledding with that little girl would have been a un-kept promise if I was still drinking. For one thing, I am sure I would have been hung over. I would have canceled saying a had a cold or the flu or something, and I probably would have believed that was the reason too. Thank God that is not the way I live today.

Because that is not how I live, I was able to take that little girl sledding for her very first time ever. And she "knew she really really loved sledding even though she had never gone before". Just so very neat to be able to spend the day with her like that. How BIG her eyes got when she saw the hill. Her willingness to try, even though I could tell she was a little scared, and the great big grin on her face after our first run down the hill. I got to be a part of that. Because I am sober, because her mom trust me with the care of her daughter, because I am sober, because I woke up that morning instead of "coming too". Gifts.

One of the things in life that I have always enjoyed are children. This little girls mom is my oldest niece, and she is just 7 years younger than me. Babies, toddlers, little kids, have been a part of my life since I was one!! As soon as I was able too I started babysitting. I was always watching my nieces and nephews when I was in my teens. I went right from my teens into my twenties and motherhood. I will admit that I slacked off a bit as the good auntie once I became a mommy, but I still loved to have the kids over. It was rare for hubby to come home and I did not have additional children in the house.

Then the drinking started to take off. As the drinking increased, the frequency of having other kids over went down. I did not enjoy it as much (it cut into my drinking). The kids were also getting older and Aunties house was not the thing to do. Could be part of why the drinking increased as well, I was suffering from empty nest syndrome!! Well, it could!! I was still very active in my daughters activity's, but the enjoyment was not there the way it would have been if I was not drinking. I know that now. She still got a pretty good mom, despite what she thinks at times, but I could have been much better. MUCH. That was then.

Now, having gone through so much angst as a parent, I really really enjoy being a Auntie and surrogate Auntie to friends children. I am able to do things, and take a great enjoyment in the doing because of what I have learned through AA. Back to having fun. I did not get sober to spend all my time at meetings, (though they are a BIG part of my life too!!). I got sober to be a person again. With a life. With the kids.

Yup, GRAD~AH~TUDE!!!!