How many, many, many, MANY times did I sit at the bar and tell people how to run their lives? I always had the answers. How many, many, many times did I sit at the bar and talk about "the things I could/would" do "some day". Lots and tons and then some.
Today I don't have to pretend to have the answers for other people. And I actually wait for a question (most of the time) before I venture a response of any kind. What a wonderful gift of sobriety that is. I don't have to be in charge of anyone other than myself. That includes my eighteen year old daughter and someday to be ex husband. I am free to be just me. I can offer and give my love and support, and mean it. More importantly, I can really give it.
As for those bar room pipe dreams ......... I can make those real now. Really real!! For EVER I have dreamed of running my own business. What business that would be changed from week to week, but the dream was there. When I was drinking of course part of the motivation was how convinced I was in my arrogant way that I could "do it better". I was a legend in my own mind.
Less than a week from now that dream of running my own business will be coming true. After many hurtles (I have a HUGE resentment against building inspectors at the moment....) ... I will be opening the doors to MY place. Really real. I am still kind of in a state of disbelief to be honest. Once I have the keys in hand and product in stock ... make that first sale ... it MIGHT all start to feel really real. In the tween time, I am getting ready.
Not just trying .. but doing. I am not so concerned about "doing it better than". I do of course want to do it better than the competition, be kind of silly if I didn't! But the arrogance of drunken me is gone. I will be asking for help and advise, and listening. I will implement ideas, some will work, some will not. And that is ok. God is giving me a shot. And if this is not what I was meant to do with my life, not going to be my success story, that is ok too. Instead of just talking about it, I am doing. Such a big improvement that I have already succeeded more than I ever would have sitting in a bar.
1 comment:
Good for people to know.
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