AWOL

Have I mentioned how much I am enjoying my AWOL? I really do enjoy it, for several reasons. The most important, it is helping me to stay sober. A pretty good reason to keep doing it I think.

I have to be honest about this. The snippets of contriversy over if a AWOL counts, bugs me!!

I had been going to a step meeting for 2 1/2 years faithfully. A 12 & 12, but really just a 12, we never did the traditions. So I heard that "my" step meeting did not really count. But it was helping me stay sober. So I kept going. And each week I got something out of the meeting. Each week I grew a little bit more as a person. A sober person. So because it was not an AA sanctioned meeting, does that make me any less sober?

The same thing goes for the AWOL. My understanding of those against it, the reason is we are not "really" "working" the steps. Well I just don't get that at all. I know for a fact that I AM working the steps to the best of my ability and knowledge at this stage of my sobriety. I am gaining insight into myself and my relationship with God. And ... I am staying sober. Am I less sober if I don't do the steps "just so"??

And people wonder why earth people think AA is a cult!! lol

Thank God the people who are a part of my daily AA don't hold these views. I am not sure I would have stayed with AA if my only option was to get sober just one way. I have instead been given the gift of a amazing fellowship in the form of the meetings I go to and all their various flavors. Because of, and in spite of, the old school/new school/tough love/soft love etc differences I am able to go to meetings that suit me best. And as I grow as a sober person, so do my needs and expectations of and for myself. And because I have such a great fellowship to teach me, learn from ..more growth.

Everybody learns differently. I am very grateful that the halls of AA were able to spawn some options that may not have made the approved list, but were able to get through to me. I am not talking about a easier softer way, those cards are not ones I try to play. I am talking about using different words or methods that make more sense to me. Down the line would I like to do a Big Book Step Study? Yes, and I am sure I will. When I am ready. When I am able to sort out the words without being overwhelmed. When God says I am ready for that step in my life. Right now, going the the 12 step meeting, and now the AWOL, I am getting a good foundation in AA. I am learning the ABC's of the Big Book. And I feel good. I feel good. Wow. Very cool :)

Oh yah, I think I read somewere too that the ONLY requirment for AA is a desire to stop drinking.............