Tri-Fecta

One down, two to go!!

Five years later and I have to admit I do still find the holiday season a bit of a struggle. Not a huge one, thank You God, but thoughts of drinking and a longing for the bar still flavors my thoughts.

I did this year for T-day what I have been doing ... went to meetings. I went to an alkathon in the morning with my dad. It was a great way to start my day. Surrounded by people who know just how I feel. Surrounded by people who just like me felt a tad bit off because it was a holiday.

It did not matter how many years of sobriety we had, it mattered not if we had family back in our lives or are still on the outs. Something about the holiday and the monster inside starts the jabbering that "it was not all that bad!! Remember that time ..." and some of the "fun" of drinking starts floating through.

But I did not have to drink.

Instead I met my family obligation and did in fact have an enjoyable time with them. I am blessed in that I do in fact like my family and they like me back. I played with my brothers girlfriends grand kids and did not have to worry about balancing a baby and a beer. I did have to balance a baby and a plate of food! (Only got a little bit in her hair) And in return this one year old would look up at me with big eyes full of trust, offer me a handful of smooshed stuffing and smile a big ole drooley baby smile when I gave her a kiss. Awesome.

I went to two more meetings after that. When I finally made it to bed I was tired and content with my life. I did not drink.