Snow sober

So far this year this has been the landscape. Along with some bitter cold. People, including myself, are tired and cranky from all the shoveling, bundling up to stay warm, the slush, ice, bad driving and other safety issues. The list goes on and on.
The first year of sobriety I would have been crawling out of my skin by now. This type of weather was drinking weather!! Sit at the bar and moan and groan and groan and moan. Oh MY back! Lets have another shot of the blue ones to make the hurts go away. Not that I really needed a reason for drinking but snow storms gave me a good one in my mind.
Due to a couple of people near and dear to my heart joining the fellowship of AA I have had a greater opportunity to take a look at both my drinking and early sobriety. I drank for everything and anything. It was how I could avoid dealing with life. Early in sobriety that first year in particular but even today, when certain emotions or situations arise my first instinct can still be to drink. Make the hurts go away.
The first year I started picking up the tools to combat that reaction at most and defer it at the least. I still have days or rather moments when the knee jerk response is DRINK. Today I can think that through and usually within seconds the thought is gone, I just have for to much to lose. But it still happens.
I keep going to meetings. I talk to people. I dream of the future that awaits this sober person. I try not to look at the landscape as being cold and barren, instead I look and see the vividness of the colors and diamond like wink of the sun dancing in the snow. I look for the beauty and the grace of each day. It is there, it just needs to be sought in order to be found.