Two Down ~

Two down and one to go!! Much easier this year than last, and easier still than the first. New Years will actually be my fifth New Years spent sober. I spent New Years 04/05 in detox. I don't know if that can REALLY count as sober though. I was not drinking, but I was on whatever they gave me to detox on.

It was the start of my journey into recovery though. New Years was on a Friday, and I went into detox on a Thursday after getting completely hammered on Wednesday. Hit every bar in town, some of them twice. I had no idea that I would end up in a detox that night. I had even less of a clue that the road I am on now would be filled with both so many joys and pains. To be honest, had I known I don't think I would have had the courage to step foot onto it. The more I think about it, there is no way I would have done it. I had spent far to many years using the booze as my way to deal with things. I would have looked at all that I have had to do to get were I am and gone running to the bar. You would have needed a crow bar to pry me off my bar stool.

All that being said, I am SO glad that I am here and not there. Despite all the growing pains to get here, my life is filled with MUCH joy!! Just the fact that I got up this morning and had no hang over or regrets from the day before. What a gift, what a joy. Even the ability to appreciate that it is a gift, is a gift!! lol To many gifts to count on a daily basis, that is the core of my sobriety now.

The growth I have gone through as a person is pretty neat too. And again, the ability to SEE it now. So even though I would have gone running if I knew what I was in for, I am so glad that is not how it worked out. I like being this new person who is working on a daily basis to be better. There will always be room for improvement. Always room to grow just a little bit more. And always room in my heart for more more more of the love I am finding in the world I live in. How great is that? It is freaking awesome!!! That's how great!!

Happy New Year!!