Babble

I have had so many different "topics" running around in head the past week. My heart continues to ache for my friend and her family. She had posted about the many people who said they could not imagine the pain she is going through. And how that was no comfort to her at all. My heart broke for her all over again with that statement. I may be cowardly in not responding directly to her, but I really feel she has enough on her plate and does not need my babble on that topic.
Can I imagine the pain she is in. Not all the way, no I can't. I know some of the pain she is in, but her pain in uniquely her own. Different even that that of her dh or even my sister. The same as when I hear a story in AA that is "like" mine. I can identify with some, or even most of it. Regardless, it does not make the story "worse" or "better" than my own. It is different. What I can do is ephathize. And pray for peace for her. Sooner rather than later.

Next I go back to gratitude. I had a commitment at the de-tox this past week. I speak there as often as I am able to with my group, and in this case with a group I go to all the time. Anyways, on the way in I met up with a person who I have seen off and on as long as I have been in AA. He was checking in. Really blew me away. I have seen other people I know in as patients before, but not anybody I knew as well as this man. Then when we got into the commitment, I saw another man I know. His brother is one of the people I depend on a lot in AA. A unofficial sponsor so to speak. This guy came in just about the same time as me 3yrs ago. He had been in and out of AA for a number of years, but if you had asked me a week ago about him I would have said without a doubt that he is one of the ones who got it this time. Looks like I was way wrong. At least he was there getting help ... again. But it really really blew my mind. When it was my turn to talk I started off saying I was grateful to be there. Well, that really surprised me. That is not one of my lines, gratitude list or no. I had to pause after saying it I was so surprised! I was not able to think all that much about it right then .. I still had to talk. But in reflecting, I was grateful to be there that night. I was with two strong AA people and got here hear their stories told a little different that how it sounds from the podium. I was able to be there for the first guy and help him in the door and give his wife a hug. I know he is struggling now and who knows, may be able to help him down the line. I got to see the second guy, and it showed me how dangerous is is to assume that everything is all right with people. And how important sticking with the meetings and my group is. And last, I was grateful that I was a VISITOR to the de-tox. I was grateful in a very basic way, that I was sober. As much as I think it is important to be grateful for all the "stuff" that goes with BEING sober ... it is also important that I not forget to be grateful for the fact that I AM sober .......