I did not want to be drunk anymore, but I could not stay sober. A very sad, and scary place to be. I knew from the meetings I had gone to that people do in fact stay sober with the help of AA. The ones I saw sober and happy, those were the ones I wanted to be like. So to what lengths was a willing to go this time?
First, I got real serious about my recovery. I had heard that I had to put that first. So, that was my game plan. Put my recovery first for a while. I was not ready in the beginning to even think about recovery being a life long process. I grabbed hold of the "one day at a time", and clung. The other very huge thing was change. I knew I had no hope of staying sober if I did not make some major changes.
I was at the point in my drinking that my husband and daughter were so disgusted with me that when I came home drunk they would ask if I had been drinking, I would say yes and go pass out. The next day we treated it like had not happened. The pink elephant in the middle of the living room. We all know it is there, but if we don't talk about it we can pretend it does not exist. I knew I needed to be held accountable. Sooo... I went to Mom and Dad. My plan was to stay with them a couple of weeks and get a good foundation in sobriety. I asked them to be my sober house. No excuses for not going to meetings. No driving at night. Keep track of were I am. .... I put them in charge of my life in the way I had been rebelling against since I was a teenager and knew everything!
And I think it just might have saved my life.
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