Who knew? I sure as heck didn't. My name is Kris, and I am a alcoholic. This will be my third attempt at blogging my recovery. Do not expect a fourth or fifth step here, would not be all that interesting anyways :) What I hope to do is talk about my recovery on a daily basis, same way I deal with it.
Anything I might say on this blog about AA would be my interpretation unless I quote and give credit to AA literature.
I will now briefly claim my seat.
I have plenty of YET's and nothing major to report in the way of jackpots. No DUI's, pc's, wrecked cars, jail, and I never lived on the street. I did not drink when I was a kid, my parents are not drunks or abusive. But I am still a drunk. Like I said, who knew?
I was 21 when I started drinking on anything that could be considered a regular basis. I have not a clue as to when I started crossing the line. I do know now that I never once drank for anything but the buzz. I felt cheated if I went someplace and could not drink and get a high off it.
At first it was a little by slow progression. From drinking in the weekend warrior style, to during the week, to every day. My husband and daughter wanted me to stop drinking, I would "control" the drinking for a bit to get them off my case. The last 5 years of my drinking found me in bars, and the last year I upgraded from beer to more and more vodka and shots. The joke was I had had enough to drink when I started ordering the Absolute and Vodka drinks .....
The first time anyone told me I was a alcoholic was when I went to see a doctor about a surgery. She told me not to stop stop drinking because I was in danger of having seizures. I of course did not believe her. But I did listen to her, and I thought about it. About two months later I was pulling a typical drunk move of getting cocked two days before the new year so I could have a day to recover and be ready to really party on New Years Eve. Leading up to that I had given lots of thought to what the Dr had told me. (I did say briefly, so going to jump ahead for now).
That night something happened to me. I realized that I could not stop drinking. Not on my own, not without help. I honestly did not know HOW to stop, or even what I should do. That night when my husband tracked me down in a bar ... I told him I needed help, and needed it now, tonight. Because tomorrow I would not have a problem.
That night, December 27, 2004 was the beginning of my journey into sobriety. I wish I could say that I have been sober all that time, but I was not done living my story. Relapse is not a requirement of sobriety, however it does happen far to often. And it is part of my story. I had what I hope was my last drink November 3, 2005.
When I got back on the wagon I went to were people go to get, and stay sober. I went to the halls of AA. And one day at a time I have stayed sober. It has been an incredible journey. Many ups, many downs, but I am working of having the tools to deal with both .... WITHOUT picking up a drink.
And that is enough for this post I think. Unless I want to stay up all night!
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