Now I sit, more than a few 24 hours later, still at Mom and Dads. I am still keeping my recovery number 1 in my life. I go to a meeting 6 out of 7 days a week most of the time and also onnline meetings. I no longer hang out in bars or with people who drink heavy. I start my day thanking God and request His help throughout the day as needed. I also give Him thanks throughout the day for the little things, like pretty flowers, a smiling baby, those simple yet amazing things He puts in my path to continueally show me what a wonderful life I DO have.
And I work the 12 Steps to the best of my ability on a daily basis. I go to a step meeting once a week and hear how others have done it before me, and how they are doing it today. And I learn.
Jumping back to still being at Mom and Dads. That is still the hardest thing I am doing. They have been positively wonderful and supportive. They are also pretty good about leaving me to do my growing on my own terms. The hard part about being here is I am not with my daughter. My husband decided he did not love me anymore due to my alcoholic behaviors. He did not want me back. Does not want me back. I did not fight him or force it because of the fear of picking up a drink. And that, I believe, was my Higher Power looking out for me and guiding me. But I miss my daughter. She is 17 and graduating high school this weekend. She is a wonderful person. And the fact of the matter is, I spend as much if not more time with her now than if I was at home with her. But I miss being at home with her on a daily basis. That is still a huge hole in the pit of my recovery. But, I don't have to drink over it. I can be sad, that's OK. What I can't do is jump up on the pity pot. And knowing that, well that is a sign of my recovery.
What lengths will I go to stay sober today? Whatever it takes, for however long it takes. Keeping in mind, all I really have to do it for is today.
No comments:
Post a Comment